The other day, I heard a story that made me go hhhmmm 🧐 Reader.
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A couple married for over 20 years has been navigating some tough medical challenges. The wife’s health is changing, but the husband?

He refuses to change anything.

He won’t cook. Won’t order food. Won’t make the bed. Etc.

Despite them having a “new normal.”

The wife has a neurological condition that makes motor skills tough.

I can only imagine how tough this change is on both of them.

But I read something today that got me thinking… his behavior is kind of like refusing to use a computer because you remember the days before they existed.

We’d be wasting so much time and energy.

Marriage isn’t so different. Life throws curveballs. We have health changes, new seasons, different demands.

Sticking to “the way it’s always been” doesn’t work.

And it’s not just about SURVIVING changes; it’s about adapting together.

This is not to say anything bad about the husband.

Because he’s 20+ years older than me. And going through something I’ve never went through.

And honestly? I don’t know how I’ll handle ANY change at 60 or 70 years old, much less something that drastic.

It’s easy to think I’d do better, but the truth is, habits can be hard to change.

So I want to get in the practice of checking in, adjusting, and adapting while I’m younger, so that hopefully it’s not as much of a struggle down the road.

Which brings this question to mind for you.
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When was the last time you took inventory of how things are going in your marriage?

Before the busyness of the holidays kick in and the year wraps up…

It might be the perfect time to pause and ask yourself:

• What’s shifted in your marriage this year?
• What does your wife need from you now that she didn’t before?
• Is there something about your routine, your habits, or your approach that needs adjusting?

Being a husband on purpose isn’t about sticking to old patterns just because they’re comfortable.

It’s about adapting, paying attention, and making sure your wife knows, “I see you, I hear you, and I’m with you. Even through THIS.”

So as soon as you have a chance:

1. Take 5 minutes to reflect. What’s one thing you could adjust to better show up for your wife right now?
2. Send her a quick note. Even if nothing specific comes to mind, ask her directly: “Hey, just checking in. How am I doing? Is there anything you need from me?”

And if you want, hit reply and let me know a small adjustment you’re committing to this week?

Or share over on Threads.

I’d love to hear it.

Let’s end the year strong. By showing up, paying attention, and doing the work that matters.

Purposefully,
Conrad

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